It's day 54 since MCO has been implemented

During this movement control order period, I've been spending more time in the kitchen. 

Cookies, cakes, macarons, name me another foreign recipe and I will try it soon. 

Braised pork, sweet and sour pork, omurice, name me another delicious recipe and I will attempt it soon. I have so much fun in the kitchen!

Working from home is fun! ...or is it?

It's day 54 since MCO has been implemented. 

I checked with my Sales Manager, Christine, to learn that, for the company to renew my employment contract, my sales performance has to be above 70% averagely in the past one year. I did a quick calculation. I am doing 50%. It's not difficult to foresee my sales performance in the coming months, until August, when my contract ends.

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There are people who find their callings in the early days. On the other hand, there are people like myself, who struggles to fit in different jobs since day one. Life is like a box of chocolate, pick one and be surprised, they said. Hence I decided to pick a few and try!

It's day 54 since MCO has been implemented... 

I broke down crying, while having flash backs on the career decisions I have made all these years. I was once described as job hopper. In six years, I was a Dietitian, a Marketing Nutritionist, a Cafe Crew, a Pharmaceutical Sales Representative, and now a Mortgage Banker. I thank every manager who hires me and opens up endless learning opportunities.  Full disclosure here, I was actively looking for a change of career to be Project Manager before the Covid-19 Pandemic. 

It was a self-realization that I am in the wrong career, chasing a misdirected goal, which is higher salary. This self-realization happened before the Pandemic but tough time is catalyst to change. It is not an option to hold on to my current job for survival while job hunting. My current job is at stake, I will soon be jobless in August, if situations don't improve.

Looking back, I think I owe myself some apologies. 

Dear me, I am sorry I didn't persevere;

I am sorry I didn't make careful career decision; 

I am sorry for not allowing myself to groom my potential; 

I am sorry I let all the excuses become the reasons.

However, in the attempt to be gracious, I want to thank myself instead.

Dear me, I thank you for the courage to take up new roles in each different career;

I thank you for the attempts to make independent decisions;

I thank you for exploring my potentials;

I thank you for realizing and making a decision to recover from this fall.

It's an uphill climb, it's time to put the work into it!