Yours Truly

Hello my sweet life, it's another chapter in life again soon.

Writing in to remember this moment of spontaneity, gratefulness and gathering my small bits of courage. 

It's few days of chilling time in conjunction with my birthday. (Don't you just love how things just work its way well eventually?)

I know 2014 was only less than four years ago, it sure feels like it's been a long time for so much has changed. I've got my hair chopped down to boyish length, now trying to grow it back again; I've moved from job to another, each one a different experience; I've gone from giving up on academic and research, to starting a part time Master course, estimate to finish by 30 years old; I've gone from zero dating experience to totally fine being single and enjoying it; I've finally gone back to diving and will be back to regular swimming now that I'm finally a member of the neighbourhood club house again (thank goodness! and thanks brother *heart*); I've grown from relying on one friend, to releasing myself from stubbornness and embracing more like-minded confidants...

One heartbreak to another...

One cheery moment to another...

One teary moment to another...

One joy of love to another...

One unwanted thought to another one that's been embraced and accepted.

Maybe nobody's changed, we are only gradually uncovering our true selves, or discovering or moulding it to what's supposed to be. 

.

.

.

Well, nothing will ever be more important than finally truly embracing my own family and to love them wholeheartedly. 

We are not getting younger.

四月份让我混着混着，又过去了… …

花了很多时间独处，更享受单身的自由。这段时间里把自己收起来，主要是为了好好自愈。两个三天连休的四月份，睡得很过瘾。身体上的一些情伤顽疾虽然没有修复，但至少没有恶化。更希望自己随着身体康复，可以完全放下那些后悔和遗憾。

毕竟，懂得尽早结束，也是一种获得。

不喜欢心里背负着感情负担。

不知不觉，第一次脱离单身已经是近三年前的事情了。犹记得那时的甜蜜… 当时傻傻地觉得自己可以“一次就爱对”，以为自己很快就会晋升人妻、人母，然后live happily ever after。

一直期待着男人的解救、男人的爱护、男人的给予… …

初恋嘛，难免嘛（？）

跌跌撞撞，终于明白了自己的童话故事必须自己创造、编写，而不是盲目地接受，才发现别人给的不是自己要的。

而曾经的山盟海誓也在自己迷茫之中离逝… …

… …至少我曾经拥有。那便已是一个微笑的理由啦！

去了顾客的周年庆典，下重本在自己身上，买下一夜美丽。

工作方面呢… 经过一番起起落落，总算看到自己的少许进步。面对一些例常难题也比较可以站稳脚步，打起精神去面对和解决。原本以为佣金会落空的，也看到了些许曙光。五月份里，要继续打起精神好好地做。

每每与新的朋友聊天，谈起事业，我总纠结于“为什么不做回本行”这样一个问题。

是该好好想想的。

虽然算是确定我目前就追求金钱自由。

我的守护天使：孤单的时候不寂寞，因为知道你一直都在。

细水长流，日子久了，年龄是增长了，却因为酝酿出友谊而值得。

或许你比我更懂我，总是看穿我。

把一些事情埋着不看也是希望自己可以更快乐、不让你担心啊…

因为爱，就是不让爱的人担心；爱，就是好好活着，然后在你需要我的时候，知道我在。

惜福

部落格你好。

说什么Quarter life crisis就快结束了，还真的那么准；总算在25岁结束之前，心比较定了。

谢谢WWF送来我的第一张26岁生日卡！

今天很庆幸可以跟不同的人说说话，分享很多自己很有热忱的东西。碰见了一个崇尚Alternative Medicine的医生，就在吉隆坡市区里工作。我们聊了好多关于饮食治疗的重点。这位医生置信于细胞层面的治疗，相信饮食治疗是对抗慢性疾病的重点。他也很清楚药物治疗有用于急性拯救，而不是长远之计。

那天在Pulan Sembilan被拍了都不知道（笑）

小旅行真的很重要，谢谢妈妈赞助，谢谢大哥开车。

另外，还碰到了另一名Medical Rep，谈上了咖啡。可以跟他分享识别咖啡馆价钱偏高的咖啡，及民间古早咖啡店黑咖啡的不一样，需要用不同的方式去品尝，很是开心。

~

谢谢你，感恩生命有你。

还有你，暖暖的你。

一位密友已经在谈婚论嫁了；另一个则是努力经营着新关系。

很是替她们开心。

生命美好，带给我不同的朋友、不同的体验。

而我自己，有不同的成长，不同的领悟。我知道我需要先找到自己，了解自己，才知道谁更适合成为我的终身伴侣。

爱生命。

这个年代的家长甚少着重于婚嫁了吧？至少我的父母不会太急（毕竟我还有三位单身的哥哥，轮不到催我吧？哈哈）

此时此刻，我正舒服地写着部落格，而爸妈工作之后还在厨房操劳，帮我们做饭（幸福洋溢）。

惜福。

Regression

May I be dramatic tonight?

I am regressing.

This may not be 100% bad, though.

Not until I'm regressing right now, will I ever realize how far have I gone?

Hi there, little girl me.

One and a half decades later, 

you have to keep the light on again;

you have to keep your stereo on again;

suddenly your mind is so disrupted again,

you feel that the environment serve itself right, as distraction.

So that you will be distracted from your own mind, 

so then you can sleep.

For two nights ago, all these,

the dim light,

the stereo,

they would've prevented sound sleep.

They are now sleeping aids.

Life is greatly different in different people's eyes;

Life is greatly different in different experience exposure.

It has never failed to teach me how dynamic it can be.

I might have regressed to being lost again,

this time,

I do not doubt my worthiness of existence anymore;

this time,

I will heal myself, recover, and await more from life.

cheers,

横冲直撞

又是时候来个沉淀啦。

续《那些年，我们一起追的女孩》，九把刀就要退出电影版的《等一个人.咖啡》。

有庾澄庆的声音：缺口

我的《那些年》，借出去，收不回来了。
《等一个人》在巴生的家里，此刻没得回味呀！

忍不住又要感叹时光飞逝。

很应景的，近来正揣摩咖啡的我，如果重新翻阅《等一个人》，肯定是另一番滋味。
还有附在《那些年》里的光碟，那些旋律承载的回忆呀！
那个只有光碟播映的年代…


近来的我有些紧张。
称得上恐怖的六月份过去了，却累积了一堆工作上的事务待我一一去处理。
兼职以为，为了准备八月份的单车旅程，更是答应了Uncle GC一伙会跟大家一起骑车去。
如此一来，根本不可能加时工作。

顿时有种两头不到岸的感觉，很不安。


昨天从专科那里确诊了嗜睡症，就是爱睡觉。之前的挣扎，算是有个答案。
对于自己总是在课堂上、讲座里瞌睡的情况，过了自己的那一关，可以觉得不自责了。
那么多年以后，终于（唉），蔡欣颖你真的尽力了哦。


今天在兼职里听专科Culinary Art，而且也特爱烘焙的同事说说她的前景。
那，不就是我曾经的梦吗？

人生的分叉路，是不是也让你惊喜万分呢？


第二十三个年头的尾声了，算是有点成就。
中学同学说，他对我的其中一个印象，是我丫要做的事情，是可以做得蛮好的，就是没有特定的目标。
今天停下脚步一看：
正业是有了，不是特别出色，不过有些贡献；
兼职才开始一个月多，其实真的急不来；
跑步，暂且搁着；
脚踏车是急着训练的，匆匆忙忙地，为当初冲动的自己负责任。

感激生命里总是碰到贵人。
因为兼职而认识了一些cyclists，Uncle GC专程在脚踏车店里确保我得到预算里最上位的单车，还有脚踏车店里的其他专业cyclists，都给了我不少指引。


话说今天Bee给我在准备咖啡方面的建议是不能急，
脚踏车前辈们也提到我在骑车时不能一开始就在冲。


要学着不冲动，
星影

Milestone

Hey there, it's a beautiful Wednesday night. 

If I were to take photos of me with my laptop sitting at a cafe each time, it'd begin in the year 2007;

the most recent one? Right now.

Hajimaru

I'm a Klangite, raised and grow up in Klang, 

sister to three elder brothers, sometimes said to be the pearl in palms (掌上明珠) of my parents'.

I was a girl who can easily cry. In Mandarin we refer a person like this as ku bao (哭包).

I was also temperamental, referred as xiao qi gui (小气鬼).

These names, I carry as I grow, until I gradually learn and understand myself.

It's been a long journey of self exploration.

I have all the time to do that though, since these characteristics kinda make you anti-social.

As a kid

I'd had piano lessons and got myself through till Grade 6. Promised myself I'll continue learning one day when I stopped at age 18 but never really practice much since then. 

I've got my first classical guitar from a high school senior at age 18, still remember a few chords but never really into it anyway. I own a ukulele as well, the same fate happens to it.

Teenage dream?

I've joined a performance group, namely Dandelion. On the stage, we danced while the lead singer was singing. I love the friends I've made in the group. I was still making the effort to contribute in the group when I was at university first year. Later then find it really exhausting and am now not going back to the practice session on Friday nights anymore.

Finally getting rid of those heavy school bags

The most significant bit of university life will be the three years in cheer leading with the Taurus team. 

My results from first semester cling to the edge of passing grade while I allocate most of my time to procrastination and joining activities with the IMU cup.

It was the first time in my life, to be living out of house. It was most of the time so unpleasant I turn to food. That should be the dark age to my fitness and health. Yea we exercise a lot in the cheer leading training. But I remember feel exhausted and not being able to catch up with the routine which require certain level of stamina. 

I was never a sport person.

Being rejected again and experienced the dramatic moment of running in the rain, wishing for the person to run to you but of course, that never happened, eh hm.

Goodbye to first year uni.

A ride to freedom

I took up first part time job as a front liner in a local dessert shop after obtaining car key passing from brother. Dearie grey Myvi is still my ride right now.

Thank you da jie (大姐). It was from her, I learnt that you can't define clear cut to everything under the sky, certain thing deserves grey area. I think I gained further that year, with all the free beverages while tendering the ice desserts and beverages in the dessert shop.

Do drop by the Lucky Jelly at Ambang Botanic if you are in Klang. I promise you they have good quality control over their ingredients.

Final year in university would be a year of change. I moved from Kuala Pilah, to Bukit Jalil; from Bukit Jalil to Seremban, from Seremban to Pulau Penang. It was those experiences that make me so comfortable living alone right now. Not much about learning to cook myself, to take care of my laundry, groceries and other housechores; I have been doing those on my own since young. These experiences truly teach me to appreciate time being alone, to accept and embrace it.

Well sometimes, I'm even worried if I'll be so comfortable being alone I'll never get life companion in future.

My first butterfly-in-the-stomach ganjiong moment was during the final year Medical Nutrition Therapy exam paper, when my touch n go was dropped out of the car while I was passing the tol. 

I have been feeling this way for the past few days, I know it's not because of the period.

It's my confirmation presentation tomorrow.

Aside from the fact that the slides is not ready, I'm truly nervous about it.

Not that I'm scared if I won't perform for passing, but because it marks another milestone in my life.

Present is gift

So here I am, sitting comfortably at Frisky Goat TTDI. Spending the money not bothering too much about the price of food and drinks while I was a stingy freak.

I'm proud to say, hey, I've grown!

I love the fact that I stepped out of my comfort zone when I first sent my e-mail to Pickle&Fig to request for an interview for part time job. I love that I told Bee I'm passionate, emotional and have thinking of my own (it's kinda like saying that I'm one of a kind actually :p) during the interview.

I love most that, I'm actually balancing my full time and part time job (aside from that it's been good number of referrals I'm kinda crazily occupied). On top of that, meeting friends, trying to make time to train for cycling and marathon.

Last but not least, I'm telling people my puffy face is my trademark :目

Appreciate what you have
right here, right now.
That's living in the moment.

Still, it matters, the angle of photo taking :p

cheers,

Life is a journey of self-discovery

Recently took up a part time job at a cafe in TTDI.

As I was being... bored, after my daily routine, which is 8.30am to 5.00pm.

I have been very good in being alone. Finally got rid of the usual moody boring self, I'm taking initiative in filling up my life with many other elements.

Meeting people helps in my self discovery. Reflections from people tell you who you are. I'm becoming more and more conscious of my responses under different circumstances.

It's in my nature that, I need something different most of times. I seek excitement. I need to experience spiking adrenaline then going straight to resting mode.

I get cranky, easily. That's because I get tired easily.

Working part time barista/ waitress for one week now. A good dose, balanced dose of such work, not only fulfil my dream in learning coffee, it also allow the body to work while the brain is being rested. 

It's really awesome, to be enjoying free coffee and cafe ambiance while earning money instead of spending. My minds are not on the monetary value. It's great, really. To meet different people, talk to them, listen to what they are passionate about.

They are so different, much more excited when talking about the things they are passionate about. 

Well, 

for right now,

the thing that really bug me is the romantic kind of love.

I'll never get that right, will I?

cheers,

二零一四年四月二十七日 星期日 雨

不知不覺這份工作就快進入第五個月份。

舊的那雙黑鞋子都穿壞了，換了一雙新的。

漸漸地長大了，更加瞭解自己的感受、更深層地認識自己了。

累的時候，會脾氣躁、沒有耐性，甚至想哭。

這個週末其實很疲憊。

從來沒有發覺原來要逼著自己專注地聽講是多麼地… 掙扎。

慶倖公司贊助了經費，是很好的學習機會。

上個星期都只工作了五天，星期五開始，一連三天開車去這個研討會。

第一天的巧克力杯子蛋糕 

逃不了甜點的誘惑吖！ 

第二天是香草口味的杯子蛋糕

一如既往，都會有不同的公司來到研討會的現場擺攤。

因為主辦單位是Malaysian Diabetes Educator Society，所有的摊位不是糖尿病营养辅助品，就是有关的药物和胰岛素产品。

各种口味的蛋糕！

当然也少不了很不错的饭店餐点，每一餐都是完整的，开胃菜、煮菜到甜点。

其实更开心的，是认识了新的朋友与重遇大学的同学与导师。

 

在Ms Lee Ching Li的workshop里，仿佛回到Semester 5的Nutrition Counseling课中。

还是学长们，没拍到照呐！会在下次的研讨会再见吧！

研讨会在今天中午结束，身心疲惫地回了巴生一趟。

入门见家里空无一人，心里是很失望的。

其实也不稀奇，却还是无法去习惯，总是一次又一次地盼望，然后失望。

把从前的食谱拿出来，在床上翻两翻以后便睡着了。

就这样好好地，休息了一下。

晚餐之前，去了中学朋友经营的咖啡馆见了见朋友。

一杯不错的espresso，配上甜点，这样坐一下，觉得这个周末总算充足电了。

开车回来白沙罗之前，在房里还翻了翻中学写的册子。

回味了中学的日子，惊觉那已经是快十年前的事情了。

曾经册子里满满的都是怨言、悲情的单恋史。

类似内容的部落格早已被我不堪地删去。

锦进同学冲的espresso

没什么。

就是觉得已经好久没有在部落格里用华文来叙述自己的生活感受。

新的一周就要开始，

四月就要过去。

感叹时间匆匆之余，记得停下脚步欣赏沿路风景。

期待明早的阳光

晚安啦！:)

星影 笔

二零一三尾声 【Live in the moment】

人生走到了第二十三载，虽然有点不愿意在生理年龄还没正式进入第二十四年，在一个月之后还是要老老实实地认了自己是二十四岁的。

不少人都知道我是已经搬离有爸爸妈妈的家，某种程度地离开了爸妈给我的摇篮，到外面去寻找自己的天地。那是从来没有后悔过的决定，更不是一朝一夕的想法。但无论未来路怎么走，那家依然是我的避风港。

我是幸运的，是幸福的。一直都有良朋益友的关照、款待；尽管当时的我还没学着珍惜，还搞不懂怎样感恩。无可否认吧？所有的事情都需要学习的。

好想年年生日都在观星园
夜里看着满天星光
醒来时放眼遥望大地

近年来的起起落落，向来感性十分的我，不自觉地开始可以比较从容地放下。

不解是否变得不那么在乎。另一个角度来看，不那么轻易地把心交出去，是比较有保障的。

已经不再向往轰轰烈烈，黄小琥的歌一般，我老了吗？（笑）

人来人往，该留的，自然会留。

还是会怀念那个敢爱敢恨的自己，爱得那么深，完全可以把自己交出去。

一直觉得自己很幸运。从来都碰上好人，都没有轻易地开始过。

谢谢你们，真心的。

还是是因为那时算有点病态的爱吓着了人？莫名其妙的。吓到你们，抱歉了厚。我只是比较忍不住，爱就觉得应该坦荡荡的。

还是很喜欢The Corrs的“All the love in the world”，有唱到心声的（笑）。

我的人生还在变。今天不知明天事。使命感跟责任心更让我觉得每一个决定都要好好地作。

终于大学也在2013告一段落了

第一份工作，也让我给辞去了。那一开始的热忱，热血地想要以自己的专业来好好回馈社会。那三个月里，学会了，也领悟了许多。更让社会抹去了一些… 懵懂无知（？）

第二份正式的工作将在2014年开始。"Good things are worth waiting." 凭着这句话，从交了履历表，等到接到该部门的面试通知，再到面试当天，最后是那漫长的三个星期去等待结果。真得来不易呀！总之是对Ms Ng，我的大学mentor万分感谢。还有所有在那段时间里跟我聊过事业的你们，谢谢你们。=)

……是遗憾吗？这两个月的空窗期，除了找工和面试，都没有好好地找一份part time。

想过把文凭放一旁，去闯。管他是在咖啡厅里窝着，或许到岛屿去打份工。对科学的热忱如果真的不能有结果，就不要强求吧！...是这么想过的。

人生就那么一次
你还犹豫什么？

没有谁的人生是完美的。而所谓完美，也只是一种说法。感恩一路上遇见了不少接受我的残缺的你们，让我也开始学会相信残缺的美。

自小最引以为傲的本质，是我的真（这一段话要写下来还真需要一点勇气 xD）。

违背良心的事，伤天害理的事，有违我本质的事，不能做。

就算犯了，也不能不忍，不能不坦诚。

否则会很挣扎，心里会纠结。

加上狮子座的傲气，这颗赤子之心，一定要保存下去。

那天心血来潮给自己买了一朵花
当下选了朵白玫瑰
白玫瑰开了几天，房里一阵芬芳
后来我又买了一朵，不料花还没盛开前就已经枯萎了…

世事难料，人类很渺小的，胸怀大志是好的，但一定要了解自己能力有限。
还没到的未来，任你怎样猜，那仍是还没到来的事。

“If you stay in the past, you'll be depressed.

If you stay in the future, you'll be anxious.

If you stay in the present, you'll be calm.”

反复地在网络上看到类似的一段话，有点相辉映，共勉之。

今年的圣诞会跟美珍在七号呆着吧？谢谢你总让我暖暖的。

星影 笔

Phobia

Having decided to stay in the living room overnight right now, reminds me of all those nights when I was hiding from something in the room back then.

It was the first time in my life that I'm staying out of home (excluding camps and trips of course). I was living in a condominium, 26th floor, always paid visit by big bugs. They come one by one. I have absolutely no idea of the bug species but it's black and big and is able to fly ( ><" ). When the bug decides to have a day trip in my room, I would scream and run out from the room. 

My housemate was just as afraid. One time, one bug loitered in her room and we spent the night in my room and she slept on my blanket.

That was time in Bukit Jalil, first year of university. Later during the final year, I had to find aplace in Seremban. The house was so old, it was maybe long time has been house for the lizards. Every night I listen to the lizardss chit chating.

It was a very hectic semester, I spent my time in the library until 10pm before calling a day. One night when I got home, I opened the door and a lizard fell right on my pony tail as I stepped in the room. 

And my furniture arrangement was weird. The bed is in the middle just so to limit access from the lizards. Then my wishes had always been, "dear lizards please don't fall from ceiling ".

Back then, it was the thought of those place being temporary home that kept me sane. The feeling of insecurity kills.

appreciate life,

Week day time-off

Today was a leave well spent! I've finally spaced out my room by moving the piano out. Now I have more space to do workout in front of the working desk.

Done my scheduled workout and feeling great!

It's always the first 5 minutes that I need to make sure I continue the workout, dear endorphins please kick in sooner! It was Total Body Circuit and was finally able to follow a bit more, constantly reminding myself to train the abs, to get rid of tummy fat. I can do it!!!

After showering and dressing, I went to runs some errands then stopped by June Home Cook, a Chinese kopitiam in Bukit Tinggi, Klang, for my favorite kind of breakfast.

Kopitiam coffee, thick and fragrant

Bun with pandan kaya and butter, served hot!

Lastly, the half-boiled eggs, no one can resist...

Dressing up for the day out with Rachel

We intended to visit a cafe in Kota Kemuning. Unfortunately, the shop was closed down for the day for maintenance. We then moved on to Sunway Pyramid straight away for the afternoon tea and movie.

RM15++ for one set of dessert and tea/coffee at Delicious

We had Lemon Meringue Pie and Peach & Banana Crumble at Delicious. It was very generous amount, we were stuffed half way through the desserts.

The Lemon Meringue Pie and Rachel ^_^ 

Peach & Banana Crumble served with ice cream

Internship, it was great time, I really enjoy the movie after so long.

The Internship, person rating would be 9.5/10

It's a story of two salesmen, after being turned down by the reality, picking the courage to chase their dreams once again. It isn't easy to start all over again, when one has learned that they are best at something, then realize it doesn't last. Not only they are courageous, they've helped the teenage or young adult team mates to be a better person. It is indeed an inspiring movie.

Rachel and me
Thankful for the company, love ya always ;)

cheers,

Let's get active! ...with Rachel and Fion

A few months ago I was asked to join few running events. Despite finding it not easy to wake up early before sunrise during weekends, I've eventually made it to two running events so far, the Run For Peace in Taman Klang Jaya and Live Great Run by Great Eastern earlier today. There'll be another one coming up this coming Saturday. It all started few months ago...

Rachel, Fion and me
Run For Peace, Taman Klang Jaya
20130908

WooiKeong, Rachel, me and Fion
Live Great Run
20130915

I was never a sport person. Six years ago, I started to swim when the family moved to a new neighborhood with club house. However, I was never a club member but a sub one under my parent's name. Hence, when my age hit 21 year-old, my temporary membership is gone and so as my routine exercise.

Gratefully, I've been influenced by my friend, Rachel, in doing workout and running. Together with Fion, we started getting closer in the social networking. Three of us are from the same high school, with Fion being in the same batch, different class; Rachel, one year younger than us. Till few months ago, when I finally completed one whole year of in-course practical training/ attachment at different states, we finally got to hang out more, to have face-to-face sessions.

 

Rachie and Fionie

These girls are special. Both went through large amount of weight loss with their own efforts. I admit that I once find it impossible to be done by myself. In them, I see the possibility, the determination and the discipline. I admire them. I'm inspired!

Choose what suits you most

Personally, I enjoy doing workout at home and running for the reason that both require no expense. As a student back then and a society new entrée right now, I don't really have the extra money for gym membership. Another plus point is that no transportation is required. With the traffic out there getting worse and worse nowadays, no transportation equals no jam, equals time saver. 

Sometimes the scenario would be just me, got home from work, a quick change, deng, I'm off for a run in the neighborhood. Otherwise, when it rains, I can always bring out my yoga mat and start the workout video.

Differentiate physical activity and exercise

Many are confused between physical activity and exercise. Physical activity is merely any bodily movements, such as moving the fingers, the legs, playing piano or guitar, shaking hands, etc. Note that house chores are categorized under physical activity.
On the other hand, exercise involves structured, planned, repetitive physical activity, intending to condition any bodily parts. Examples are jogging, workout, swimming, playing badminton, etc. I often describe to my clients that, usually exercise causes increase in heart beat and significant amount of sweating.

Why exercise?

Some people exercise for overall health and wellness, some exercise to lose weight. If you are looking for reasons to start exercising, here's why.
What exercise do to our body includes burning off the excess calories,
removing the toxics we encounter or produce from our metabolism.
Additionally, exercise helps to ease stress and anxiety.

To sum it all, exercise improves general health, physically and mentally, therefore, helps us to feel good and happy, as well as to prevent and fight health conditions and diseases!

Up next, I will look into types of exercise.

appreciate life,

References:

1. The Free Dictionary. Available from: http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/exercise

2. WedMD. Managing your condition with exercise. Available from: http://www.webmd.com/fitness-exercise/guide/get-motivated-exercise

3. Mayo Clinic. Exercise: 7 benefits of regular physical activity. Available from: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/exercise/HQ01676