Giving up vs moving on

Life begins with learning through observing and imitating.

As you master the basic surviving skills like how to feed yourself, how to appreciate socializing, getting along with the society, you begin self-exploration.

You'll learn to fit in the environment, at the same time, exploring the way you can preserve and improve your way of living.

Most of the time, we have little power over the environment, of the life incidents, of the challenges ahead of us. While what we see is literally reflection and interpretation of our own brains, I believe everything under the sun (and the moon) differs according to our perception.

What do you think about people saying to never give up hope? Whilst saying we should never expect.

Isn't that when we hope, we are, somehow expecting things to happen?

Contradicting eh?

I have recently given up on waiting and hoping. It's a realization. I said I'm sorry. I truly am sorry because I feel the need to move on. 

Without acknowledging our past efforts in keeping things together, it'd be impossible to do so. It's a temporary goodbye. It's to put an end to the endless reliance. I know it's for the best.

And this is me, I always need a proper closure.

I'm giving up the thought that I'd one day find the one, or anyone too.

Well, honestly, I've been giving up so many times only to find myself falling in love again, to have hope again. It hurts. It is painful. I'm exhausted. I understand that if one's love and caring is not desired, it'll be perceived as something ugly instead of greatness. Henceforth, I do not allow myself to apply such pressure to someone, what's more to say it's someone I love, someone I would want him to be happiest.

I've already here at a point that I kinda wish I'm gay or bisexual (sadly I'm not?). It seems to me, they are more frank to themselves, who they are and their feelings. I love you means I love you, no games.

Some may argue, you have to play the games to get there. I have to disagree if it involves a lot of guessing. 

Why guessing and have your own perceptions when you can communicate? 

I'm on the way.

Living in the city, it seems that most people are walking around with friends, family or romantic partner.

I am the same me, walking alone. Like how I used to walk alone since kinder garden time, remembering a classmate once asked how am I always walking alone (well actually many people has been asking the same).

Honestly, I don't know. 

I just have to keep moving forward, 

time don't wait for anyone.

cheers,